"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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