I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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