Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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