Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
