It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
