Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
