another moral hangover. fuck.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
