Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
