so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
