We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
