We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
COCAINE IS GR8
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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