i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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