im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My penis needs a shock collar
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
