she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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