woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
