I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
