is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
