She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
