You're my little dorito
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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