you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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