So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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