She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
