Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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