I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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