I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
