im drinking this country out of the recession.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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