This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I forget how to act sober
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
