I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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