I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
