i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
How's work?
Spinning.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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