hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
