I wish i was in the wii world.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
