I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
