I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
