I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Do vagina's smell?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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