just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
