Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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