i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
