You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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