somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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