In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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