Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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