508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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