im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
