You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
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