dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
