all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
