1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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