He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
We had sex on a dog bed..
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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