I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
