Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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