I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
now i know why i became what i already was.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
