when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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